Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Reb Ale

I decided to have some fun today, piecing together some of the funniest massive spams that I receive at work, in an attempt to make one cohesive message, or not. Let's see what I can come up with, with some commentary of course. You'd expect nothing less.

Hi.

It`s Catherine again. Will you ever contact me? I made those nude pictures especially for you and I wont write to you again! But she did, 30 times that day and included her email, too. Then her colleagues got in touch with me with some tips and offers including...

Solutions for hot humping... Be the king of F-k hill!... Turn your meat battleship on!... Immense weapon of love... Grow Giant Snake in Pants!... Anyway, you should see me naked and in bed now!... Which is when I hit the financial jackpot...

I am Elizabeth Etters, a Christian. I have picked your email address randomly for an inheritance of USD 18.000.000.00 Dollars. Please contact me for more details via her email address. You don't think I want you to steal that random prize from me do you? At that point, some Confucius types got in touch with me...

Every man would give up his brain for a decent size... Having a big penis is the most important out of all male qualities... If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument... whatever that means... Going for a big fishing is easy when you have a big bait in your pants... and my favorite... When your girl falls asleep without having a ramming by your rod it is time to think of special caplets for improving your malespirit! At which point the poet arrived...
Hang out with your wang out... You can have a mega tool like a horse or even mule...

This is your penis: 8--o
This is your penis on drugs: 8=====O

And someone who is not my friend asked me for help moving, the nerve... I would like to find a Mexican driver that speaks English with a large truck to move me and my furniture to Cabo San Lucas, MX. Hmmm. I'm not sure why a Mexican was requested. Who knows?

This crap could go on forever, but I'll stop here. Use your imagination.

Today I'm drinking Reb Ale brewed by Lazy Magnolia Brewing Company in Kiln, Mississippi. I've had the other two they bottle in the past few weeks, Southern Pecan and Indian Summer, in addition to one they don't bottle Jefferson Stout (in a bottle). The only one I'm missing from their five beers is another they don't bottle yet, Southern Gold. All around, trying these beers was great. My favorite was Jefferson Stout followed by Southern Pecan, with the other two tied for third (including the one I'm going to tell you about now).

Reb Ale seems to be dedicated to rebels. Rebels against England, Rebels against the Confederacy, and finally Rebels against that damn beer style guide. These guys say they created their own style here: Deep South Pale Ale.

OK. Light lemon and grassy aroma with a hint of wheat, but all scents were mostly subdued. The flavors are good, and there is this really unique cooked bread flavor that shows up in the beginning and at the end. You will taste some light citrus with some nutty elements as well. Earthy with just enough hops bite to keep this on the slightly bitter side of things. Good carbonation, refreshing, and again, you end with that nice cooked bread on your palate. Get this when you can!

Spam Musubi Sushi Rice Press #K5SPS

SPAM Classic, 12-Ounce Cans (Pack of 6 )

Kongzi Yanjiu = Kung-Tzu Yen Chiu = Studies on Confucius

2 comments:

Jenn Thorson said...

The irony is you managed to make more cohesive sense of the spam than the spam inherently has on its own. :) I'd say that's really accomplishing something.

The broken-English fish metaphors they used crack me up.

Beer Drinker said...

Hey Jenn.

Yes, it took a while to organize these random thoughts. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during a spam subject line brainstorming session!