Friday, December 4, 2009

Terrapin Gamma Ray

A few days ago, I was going over my son's second grade reading homework for accuracy. Let's just say that I couldn't figure out the answer to one of the questions. Say I'm not smarter than a second grader, if you think that is funny. But the truth is that NO answers were correct. So I wrote that statement next to the problem, and sent the homework back to school with him the next day. You can probably imagine this wasn't my first time doing something like that, right?

Well, yesterday was the first time I actually received a reply to one of those comments. Unexpected, too. The teacher said that "A lot of times these are confusing." Really? Then why give them to seven year olds? But to be honest, it wasn't confusing at all. There just was not a correct response. But I dropped the topic despite being right. However, I'd like to have you read this paragraph and tell me the correct answer (and don't forget to say why considering I already told you there isn't one).

A Famous Man

Thomas Edison was a very famous man. He was born in 1847. He made over one thousand inventions. One of his inventions was the light bulb. He invented the first light bulb in 1879. Without his invention, we might still be living in the dark! Another thing that Thomas Edison invented was "moving pictures." Today we call them "movies." Thomas Edison believed in hard work. Sometimes he even worked 20 hours a day.

Which of these does the author probably believe?

A. Thomas Edison did not invent anything important.
B. Thomas Edison watched a lot of moving pictures.
C. Thomas Edison could have worked harder.
D. Thomas Edison kept us from living in the dark.

OK. Got your answer written down? Here is what I think about your answers. If you picked A or C, you are a moron and are demoted back to kindergarten. If you picked B, you are also incorrect, but I guess you could use your gigantic imagination and a little pixie dust to beat the worst debater from the other JV team defending your answer. If you picked D, you are also incorrect, although this is the answer you were supposed to select, according to the school.

First, if the author thought Edison actually kept us (in 2009) from living in the dark, he is a total idiot. I don't believe the author thinks that and I don't think that you believe the author thinks that. Perhaps Edison kept his 1879 peers and even those 10 or 20 years beyond from using candlelight only. Perhaps. And I'm not putting down the importance of the invention. But really, would our space missions be lit only by the moon's reflection? I guess we'd be building atomic weapons by candlelight too, right? I'm fairly certain that someone else would have come along and invented light bulbs, just like someone else would have come along and invented those round things that make things move more easily than pushing them on squares.

Finally, if you said that all of the choices are incorrect, you are a genius! Move on and drink a beer, you deserve it! If not, deal with this side note. I stopped by BFF Total Wine on the way home from work to see if they had this famous DogFish Head and Sierra Nevada collaboration, Life and Limb. Beer Guy in Charge (my new name for him since he's helped me a lot around the store) told me they sold out quickly, and likely wont get more. Shit! One disappointment. OK, shed a tear for me. Then I see this $24 gift box of three Ommegang beers and a glass with it. But one of those three is Chocolate Indulgence, not known in these parts. Yep, BGIC disappointed me again. He wants it but can't get it since it's very limited. Sold the last individual bottle in February he thought. Double Shit! So, Christmas is coming, and no, you don't need to ask...

Friday, finally. Need a stiff one, if you know what I mean. I picked Terrapin Gamma Ray brewed by Terrapin Beer Company in Athens, Georgia. Don't tell Monster Energy, but this is part of their Monster Beer Tour. The bottle says they use an obscene amount of honey from Savannah Bee Company as well. The label also has what looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle on it, and the statement "'Cause sometimes you feel like a superhero!" Now I worked in a science lab a long time, often with radioactive 32P, but this will be my first radioactive beer exposure. Hope it's worth it.

The aroma is pronounced and welcoming with honey, fruits, flowers, bananas and booze. Fruity pear and bananas start things out along with loads of sweet honey flavors. Big-boy 10.8% alcohol does come in and cuts up the sweetness a bit, all the while warming up your insides nicely. Spicy cloves, very noticeable. Still sweet with a hint of molasses. Carbonation is medium and right on and the body is chewy. By the end, the alcohol will still be nippin' at you. But despite that factor, this beer was interestingly refreshing. Go figure! I like it quite a bit!

An Uncommon History of Common Things

Edison, His Life and Inventions--Kindle Store

Fun/R Batman Table Top Pinball

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