After successfully completing your First Grade math lesson, it's time to move on to the Second Grade.
Have you ever had Dogfish Head 360 Minute? No? Well you're in luck as there are quite a few ways to get there. Also, I am not condoning going full circle here. I've seen a few of you after a single beer and it's ugly! Drink in moderation and responsibly. Remember, this is a math lesson.
Almost all of you have had DFH 60 Minute IPA, no? If not, what in the hell are you waiting for? Well, it takes a sixer of these guys to make 360. You could do this with a pizza too, but beer is more fun.
Next, you have the famous DFH 90 Minute IPA. Conveniently, this beer is sold in a 4-pack, just the right number to hit 360.
Then you have the elusive and big giant DFH 120 Minute IPA. This one has 18% alcohol in it, so in case you didn't hear me above, and you just happen to have 3 of these laying around, don't try for 360. You are wasting good beer, acting like a tool, and will be seriously drunk if not worse. This is not a linear progression of ABV and if you don't know what I mean, go back to the First Grade.
Oh, and I didn't mean to skip DFH 75 Minute IPA. First, I needed to prove to myself that it wasn't just an urban legend. Nope, seems it does exist. I also didn't wedge it between 60 and 90 above because unlike those, this one doesn't neatly divide into 360 and is the bonus question.
Once you remember how to do division and come up with 4.8, well I'll be proud to that point. But then you will need to figure out how to get the 0.8 portion. If you're talking about a 12-ounce bottle, here comes some multiplication. 12oz x 0.8 = 9.6oz. How you'll know when to stop is your own problem. Most of you will probably end up doing DFH 375 anyway, which also, consequently takes you back to First Grade.
So that's it: Second Grade stuff. Some future lessons built upon this foundation will include the controversial 60 > 90 Math Theorem and the ABV Per Ounce Rule.