Ranger India Pale Ale

Have any of you seen the new anti-smoking ads that are being published in France? They fucking rock! Plenty of shock and controversy which might be what it takes to prevent some teenager from smoking. What a filthy fucking habit! So if this French organization can equate blowing some old dude with smoking cigs, so be it. It's not like sex in advertising is taboo, and especially not in France. Hopefully these virgins don't take this ad to mean that oral sex is good, which it is, and miss the real message of being a cigarette's bitch double-time!

This afternoon I'm watching the US v. Canada in the Olympic hockey final and drinking a Ranger India Pale Ale brewed by New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. Yes, New Belgium in Florida! Again, compliments of my friend's recent business trip to Houston. And next month he's going to Chicago! The label has a cool green and dark brown contrast. The label also asks, "Are you a hopinista? Thank our Beer Rangers for inspiring (and begging for) this well -balanced Simcoe, Cascade and Chinook hopped IPA. 70 IBUs." And the date 09JUL10.

Lemon and grapefruit citrus aroma, lightly sweet and very nice. Grapefruit to start, hoppy, crisp and refreshing right away. No real bite or kick though, pretty well balanced. Pine flavors emerge before a noticeable 6.5% alcohol shows up toward the end. Medium carbonation with very fine bubbles, smooth and creamy. Wonderful mouth feel. A drier alcohol ending at the very end. Excellent beer and my favorite from New Belgium so far!

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Thomas Hooker Blonde Ale

Beginning of January I was drinking a Thomas Hooker Blonde Ale brewed by Thomas Hooker Brewing Company in Bloomfield, Connecticut. The label also gives props to Troutbrook Brewing Company for some reason. The aroma smells mainly of, well, dirty socks. Luckily the aroma is also weak for that very reason. Flavors are better. Earthy lemon and citrus start things out. You will then taste some sweet honey and fruity pear flavors. Very mild, creamy, smooth texture. A bit watery, though. This was not a bad beer, although it was plain Jane forgettable.

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I have a picture somewhere but I can't find it. Someday. Don't hold your breath!

Shiner Bock

I've been to Texas numerous times. Seems that Texans greet you at the gate with Shiner beer.You could say that I never refused and have had my share (and you'd be doubly right). Now, Shiner has returned to South Florida recently.

Wasn't long ago I was drinking a Shiner Bock in my living room. I didn't remember being in love with it. This beer is like the Budweiser of Texas I guess because of its availability. Brewed by the Spoetzl Brewery in Shiner, Texas, the brewery brags that "every drop of Shiner is brewed in Shiner". Well, these guys have been around for 100 years, so someone is drinking their beers. Let's go!

The aroma is fruity and earthy, smells lightly sweet. Flavors start out with malty caramel, with dirty and grainy flavors backing that up. Some fruity pear and apple flavors also show up in the profile. Medium to upper-level carbonation is noticeable as well. Not hoppy at all and the flavors remain on the sweet, yet not overly sweet, side. You will finish with a small dose of metallic flavors mixed with more fruitiness. Refreshing, crisp, easy drinker. This is a not a spectacular or memorable beer, but it deserves its dues. It's pretty good!

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Tangerine Wheat Beer

Around a month or so ago I was drinking Tangerine Wheat Beer brewed by Lost Coast Brewery & Cafe in Eureka, California. There is a strange tangerine-head person on the label peeking out from a wheat field. Holy Cow! There is a giant tangerine bang up the nose when you open this beer up. If you smell long enough, you will smell some wheat, but mostly it smells like a kids sports drink or an orange vitamin. Flavors? Well, tangerine, and a lot. The label says "A hint of tangerine" and it is a liar! You will also taste wheat. Mouthfeel is dirty. Also some metallic flavors in the background. Very watery, so much so that if you were a kid drinking this, you'd probably ask for more of the drink powder to be mixed in your glass. Tangy. Hey that's it! It's Tang with a lot of carbonation. Very one-dimensional. I'm not a fan!

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Snow Cap Winter Warmer

Continuing on with the emptying of my draft folder, a winter beer I had a few months ago. It's funny. You learn something every day. I did Google Image search for "snow cap" and about a bazillion pictures came up for marijuana. What happened to the days of snow on top of a mountain?

That day around Christmastime I was drinking Snow Cap Winter Warmer brewed by Pyramid Breweries in Seattle, Washington; Berkeley, California; and Portland, Oregon. This came from my buddy in El Paso. Drink by 03/30/2010 for the record.

Burnt chocolate, malty and nutty aroma. Mouthfeel is heavy and thick right from the start. Lots of burnt and roasted caramel and toffee flavors, very dominant. The nice thing about this beer is despite those big flavors, there is a very nuanced orange and spicy and licorice flavor profile that keeps peeking through. Some light hops do manage to eventually come in and kick the thickness down a bit, but the body is full, along with medium carbonation. The finish has more burnt flavors, which I find to be overpowering every other flavor. I did like that orange and licorice tinge, though. Check it out if you don't have to make it travel an extra 1000 miles to make it happen!

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Narragansett Lager

Around two months ago I was drinking Narragansett Lager, which the label brags is famous, brewed by Narragansett Brewing Company in Rochester, New York. This brewery has been around since 1890. I had never heard of it despite spending plenty of years in upstate New York. Go figure. Well, I must admit I bought this beer like 6 months ago, and it has sat in the refrigerator since then, always being passed up for something more intriguing. And I must also admit I have had extremely negative thoughts about this beer, for no reason whatsoever. But I'm over it. The label says "Made on honor. Sold on merit" and quotes a customer as recalling a famous breakfast special: "two pickled eggs and a 'Gansett". Ugh!

Earthy, grainy aroma. Not too powerful. The flavors are much the same. Grains to start with an earthy aspect. Some lemon pops in there too. Not watery and medium to upper-level carbonation, a bit prickly. Crisp, refreshing, easy drinking. You end with a dry finish. Simple and way above what I was expecting. This is what Bud wants to be. It's cheap too!

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Haywire Hefeweizen

Another review from the draft folder. Time to let it be free!

A month or so ago I was drinking Haywire Hefeweizen brewed by Pyramid Breweries in Seattle, Washington; Berkeley, California; and Portland, Oregon. This came from my buddy in El Paso. Drink by 11/18/2009 for the record which is strange because it wasn't even purchased until the middle of December, 2009. Anyway, I'll make sure he avoids that retailer in the future. The label says, "Life is what you pour into it." I agree!

Wheat aroma, mostly, with a light citrus background. Not too powerful at all. The flavors start out similarly with wheat and citrus, mostly orange. There are some bready flavors too. This has a band aid doctor's office type flavor I can't quite describe any other way. It's not horrible but is strangely present. Overly carbonated by quite a bit, which dominates an otherwise simple and decent beer. Light body and dry finish. I'll pass on this beer!

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Alamo Golden Ale

OK. Let's do two in a row from Real Ale Brewing Company.

Back on 1/10/2010 I was drinking Alamo Golden Ale. The label says it is brewed by Real Ale Brewing Company in Blanco, Texas. The label also directs you to their website, which is for Alamo Beer Company in San Antonio, Texas. So someone is really confused, and that someone is me. I can hardly believe that there was some kind of merger or takeover considering all the bottle bragging of "a fiercely independent spirit". One last comment the bottle says is, "Handcrafted by real Texans". I find that amusing. This beer came back from San Antonio with a friend of mine, and the consume by date is 03/23/10 for the record.

The aroma has some light citrus along with a little fruit and hops. A bit weak. Flavors start out similarly. Fruity, earthy and dirty to start. Grains galore! Medium to upper-level carbonation is prickly in the mouth; medium body fuller than I was expecting. This beer is on the bitter side but not overly so. Crisp and refreshing with really nice flavors. MUCH better than I anticipated. I was pleasantly surprised, so don't pass on this beer if you get a chance to try it.

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Full Moon Pale Rye Ale

So I have a bunch of reviews that I've done over the past few months sitting in my draft folder. Time to empty that. Get ready for 8 or 10 or so posts coming now!

Back on January 19th I was drinking Full Moon Pale Rye Ale brewed by Real Ale Brewing Company in Blanco, Texas. Yet another beer from my friend's Texas trip. The bottle has an illustration of the old Blanco County courthouse. The label describes this beer as "a distinctive pale ale with a touch of rye malt". Best if consumed by 03.21.10. Funny it says "DRINK SOON".

The rye really stands out along with some floral and hoppy scents, too. Rye flavors dominate, with a very distinct graininess. There is also a very nice little bitter bite right away. Citrus flavors are also present, some spiciness and a good sharp lemon peel flavor. Medium carbonation, medium body, creamy in the mouth. Refreshing and crisp, leaving a nice cleansing bitterness on the palate. I really enjoyed this beer. Check it out!

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Rugbrød

My second grader got 100% on his spelling test yesterday. Considering all the words we're paired homophones, it also means he nose witch word goes with which meaning. That brings me two ask why sew many adults can't stop making simple grammatical mistakes that oui expect even hour seven year olds too understand.

Four example, won of my favorites happens when I reed blogs and comments wear there authors have sum sort of difficulty understanding the difference betweeen their, there and they're. Why can't the adult community figure out THEYIERE'RE shit? Its fucking simple! Same with it's - its and break - brake and tons of others. Please! I'm begging you!

Enough of that mistake writing style. Its harder to right like that then correctly.

Today I'm drinking Rugbrød brewed by The Bruery in Placentia, California. This will be my third beer from this brewery after enjoying, but not loving, both Orchard White and 2 Turtle Doves about a month ago. The wine-sized bottle is very nicely presented, as usual. The label says this is a JuleBryg-Style Dark Rye Ale. It also says "SAY WHAT?" which I'm guessing refers to the response you might get to the beer's crazy name. Serve at 50 degrees.

So I probably opened this up a little below 50 degrees, but whatever. I have plenty of beer and plenty of time. The aroma is full of rye, with burnt and roasted caramel, even a little nutty. The flavors are a little different. Lots of chocolate flavors along with some spicy black pepper dominate the flavors to begin. Also, the giant prickly carbonation makes sure you know it's there. Rye and bread, for sure, and a distinct nuttiness shows up, too. As the beer warms up just a tad, some smokey flavors start to persist, and the nutty flavors get more pronounced as well. Well, I mentioned the big carbonation. The body is pretty big too, lots of big flavors competing here, mostly with good sportsmanship. Burnt malt, hints of sourness, burp! The 8% alcohol is not a factor. Dry finish with burnt aftertaste. Very interesting! I'm glad I drank this (actually, unusually, this is taking forever to drink), but it's not a favorite. Let me know what you think. Also, I bet this beer would kick ass as a cooking ingredient, for someone with some skills!

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Horizon Red Ale

Sea World decided not to kill the killer whale that killed its trainer the other day in Orlando. I wonder how this whale species got its name? Anyway, very tragic. I feel bad for that lady. She definitely loved that animal. And I was there just a few months ago, so this hits home a little more than normal. The Orca show went on today after a short suspension.

So what should Sea World do now? Obviously they need to implement the strictest safety rules and review those plans regularly. But... what they really should do is work on their Public Relations plan for the next time someone is killed by a Killer Whale. Because these are wild animals and I guarantee there WILL be a next time. Just like the Indy Car Racers know there will be another fatal crash despite all the safety precautions. Just like I know that there will be catastrophic hurricanes in Florida. Inevitable. Sorry to bring you a dose of reality!

Tonight I'm drinking Horizon Red Ale brewed by Summit Brewing Company in St. Paul, Minnesota. This is my second beer from this brewery after drinking their Extra Pale Ale a few days ago. The label says this beer was "brewed with exceptional American hops". I should hope so!

Grainy citrus aroma with some caramel. Lots of grain flavors with some lemony citrus to start. A little grassy with a dirty texture. A hint of nuts comes through. There is a really good amount of hops helping show off a refreshing light bitterness. Medium carbonation is a little prickly. You finish with a dry, metallic, slightly off-flavor, band-aid taste in your mouth. Except for that, this beer reminded me of... hold on to your seat... their Extra Pale Ale I had two days ago. An OK beer.

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Crap! No Picture tonight. Don't worry. I'll fish the bottle out of the recycling bin tomorrow! Next day update. Here you go needy people.

Hopslam Ale

So all the cool kids are doing it. No, not Ecstasy, dumb ass! First Chris Brogan asked for his readers to comment on his blog, even if it was just a "hello". Then Lisa Barone took it a step further and called me a lurker, which was unacceptable. Basically they dared people to come out of the closet and post for the first time. And in both instances, I did. First time!

I do regularly comment on a few other blogs in my space (beer, humor, food, and basically any site I find interesting). Some of these people probably wish I'd stop. But these social media kids with lots of followers yet semi-limited comments were saying "put up or shut up!"

It worked for Chris. He said he usually gets 20 or so comments on each post average, but this one had 960. And Lisa's had 71 as of this writing, first day. And both responded to a lot of them. I'm guessing Lisa will reply to most if not all of hers since she has a more manageable number. She replied to me saying this is a "snarky beer blog" and that she wouldn't "seth-godin" me. That could be the first time Seth's been a verb and a negative verb since Lisa called him out a few months ago. Check out her first sentence. I wish I knew chicks like this in college!

To the point! Post something here today. Aren't you tired of reading Cooking Asshole, bunny, and my mom's comments every day? Do something about it! Make today the day you tell me how awesome I am, how much I suck, what beers I should be jealous you get at your local 7-Eleven, whatever. Just do it! Nike (Jordan, not Tiger) style!

Tonight I'm drinking Hopslam Ale brewed by Bell's Brewery in Comstock, Michigan. Now I will admit that I already have an opinion about this awesome beer since it was part of last Saturday's Beer Tasting Extravaganza (see #4), but today it gets its proper review, without other competing flavors in the way. The label has a picture of some poor dude that got killed or knocked out by some giant hops. The label also calls this "A biting, bitter, tongue bruiser of an ale. With a name like Hopslam, what did you expect?" Batch 9552, which is the same as from the other night. Makes sense since I got my sixer from the same Total Wine store. Oh, and I gave one to my buddy from work who keeps getting me the terrific beers on his business trips. I believe his word for this was "intense"!

I'm also breaking in a new motto. Tell me what you think. Have a few for a kick-ass review! I'm already drinking my second of the five that were left so I practice what I preach (sometimes).

Wonderful fruity orange and tangerine and citrus aroma with a hint of pine, sweet and intoxicating. Just as beautiful are the sweet fruity orange, pineapple and melon flavors that open things up here. Honey adds to the sweet profile but don't worry, this is not too sweet. There are plenty of hops in this beer to keep it perfectly balanced. There are some tangy flavors on the back side here, and the 10% alcohol is noticeable yet mostly masked. I didn't notice it at all last time, but regardless it's a nice component working well with the sweeter flavors to add another dimension. Medium carbonation and body, right on. A nice fruity flavor is left on your palate at the end, yet the finish is the most bitter part of the experience.

Overly hyped? Yes, and it pisses me off that beer nerds do that! This beer was superb, but sometimes I feel that people would sell their first born or knock granny over at their local Total Wine to get some of these beers. Don't do that! But DO get some of this beer if you can! Oh, and "A biting, bitter, tongue bruiser of an ale."???? Not really. That's marketing BS! They should tell it like it is. This is a delicious, fruity, beautiful IPA and is none of the things they claim. I think Larry Bell should consider replacing their marketing director with... ME! If not, I could at least handle focus groups.

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